There are a few standards that have been beneficial to me over the course of my life. In relation to my professional life: excellence, work ethic, work life balance, and accuracy. In relation to my personal life, a standard that showed up and surprised me is forgiveness. These standards did not develop in my life simultaneously, rather they grew from within me as I faced new challenges. Some were instilled in me from my youth and others I recognized as necessity, which drew me toward them for my own survival.
Work ethic began to develop when I was a child. I am the eldest of three children and during my childhood my parents were gone a lot, working. As a child (as young as nine) household duties and care of my younger siblings fell to me. My parents were type-A personalities who expected work to be done and done right. As a teenager, I spent summers with my father working in our family’s automotive businesses, pumping gas and learning how to run a business. We’d walk on the beach at sunrise and open shop by 7:30 a.m. Those days felt grueling as a teenager, but I learned the importance of hard work.
Along with work ethic, my parents instilled in me the standard of excellence. My mother would rip our beds apart if they were not made properly and I’d have to make them again. There were seams on our bedspreads that had to line up properly, if not, the bed had not been made correctly. She’d say, “Do it right!” My father taught me to walk with a book on my head until it would not fall off, so that I walked with excellence. I can still hear him saying, “Stand up straight. Look ahead. Shoulders back.” Poor grades in schoolwork were not allowed. I strived to bring home report cards that pleased my parents and fell in line with their standards of excellence (that were becoming my own).
The standards of work ethic and excellence served me well while running my own business, as a college student (after my husband and I closed that business), and as I reinvented myself and began a new career path. While running a business, I carried over principles and practices my father taught me and pursued excellence in all areas of work. When our business closed, I made the decision to return to college and take a new path. While in college, I knew I needed to work hard to learn as much as I could about the new direction I was taking.
At the first college I attended, Daytona State College, I was recognized as the most outstanding student in my program and the college inducted me into its Hall of Fame for academic achievements and service on campus and in the community. At the second, Stetson University, I was recognized as the outstanding senior in my program and awarded the Ethan F. Greene award for my senior project. Following that, I was contacted by Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University and I accepted a position with the Office of Alumni Engagement. In my current role, I continue to strive for excellence and my work ethic remains.
My new path led me to work in journalism (among other things) and I currently write for Embry-Riddle’s alumni magazine, Lift. In the profession of journalism, a standard that I have embraced is accuracy. In Learning to Think Things Through: A Guide to Critical Thinking Across the Curriculum, Nosich describes accuracy as a standard that “simply means your words describe the way things are” (Nosich, 2012, p. 139). In journalism, this is of utmost importance. Accuracy was instilled in me as a journalism student and it’s a standard that I adhere to when interviewing, writing, and working with editors.
The standards of work ethic, excellence, and accuracy gave birth to a new standard in my life: work life balance. When one works hard and strives for excellence, even pursues accuracy to the point of perfectionism, it can lead to burn out. I sometimes hit a wall and have minor collapses that are a result of not drinking enough water, working too hard, not stopping to eat, and not getting enough rest. There have been times I’ve worked overnight. My husband will be going to bed and I’ll be working on a project. When he wakes up the next morning, I’m still there. For my own survival, I have to shut down my task-oriented self and force myself to rest, drink, eat, exercise, sit in the sunshine, breathe, and laugh. The standard of work life balance is one that Embry-Riddle adheres to for its employees and my colleagues are helping me in this area. After I said that I didn’t accomplish much on the weekend, my colleague expressed to me, “When you are resting, you are accomplishing something. You are accomplishing rest.” That statement helped me understand that it’s okay to take care of me and keep my life in a healthy balance.
The standard that showed up and surprised me, forgiveness, was also instilled into me as a child, but I didn’t realize the extent of it. In church, I was taught that I was supposed to forgive. As a child, I was told to forgive other children on the playground. Of course, in various personal relationships, forgiveness smoothed over conflicts. But there came a time in my life that I had to fight for survival and forgiveness is a standard that led the way to personal healing.
In a five-year time period, my father died, my 23-year career ended, and I was raped. There were things I had never forgiven my father for when he died, I was angry that my career was over and I had no clue what was next, and then the unfathomable happened – sexual assault. Following those events, I spent about two years in individual and group therapy and I learned about forgiveness at levels I’d never known before. I learned a true definition of forgiveness and that it had more benefit for me than the other person. I learned I could forgive without ever speaking to the person who hurt me. The standard of forgiveness holds much more strength than I thought. It is not me weakly giving in to my offender, it is me strongly choosing to move on and let go of hurts. I chose forgiveness. I forgave my father. I forgave abuses in past relationships. I forgave my rapists. But the most important act of forgiveness was when I forgave myself for making choices I regretted. The standard of forgiveness helped me move forward and it’s one that I am teaching my son, because he will likely face situations when he will need it.
Sometimes these standards have caused issues with others in my life, in different ways. In order to maintain the levels of hard work and excellence that I strive for, and to accomplish goals I set before myself, I have to say “no” a lot. That’s not something others like to hear. But if I give in to demands that others are placing on me, I won’t achieve my goals, such as completing a master’s degree. My standard of excellence is admired by others, but it can perceived as perfectionism. When there are those who don’t have the same standard, I can become frustrated with them because I don’t understand not wanting to hold oneself to excellence. And in relation to forgiveness, there are some who don’t understand how I could forgive those who have hurt me (especially abusers and rapists). I can’t let those who don’t hold the same standards end my adherence to them because I know the standards are valuable and beneficial to me.
All these standards developed over time and for a variety of reasons. They have helped me be a better person who is able to accomplish goals and build a new future for myself. They have helped me pick myself up and stand again, and shown me that I am capable of more than I thought possible. They have helped me live again and shown me the importance of living in a healthy way. I’m thankful for each of these standards and the benefits they provide and I’m curious to know what new standards will develop as my life continues.
Reference
Nosich, G. M. (2012). Learning to think things through: A guide to critical thinking across the curriculum (4th ed.). Boston, MA: Pearson Education, Inc.
Cynde Puckett | MSLD 500 | Dr. Rietsema | January 31, 2021 | Assignment: Name Your Standard
Cynde Puckett-Valenti 